Has Having One Source of Income Effected Our Family?
I think no matter what decisions you make in a marital relationship definitely becomes a factor within the household, whether it be staying home, working normal hours, or working overtime. So I could easily just say yes it has effected our family, but I am sure the question should be “how” has it effected us as a family.
I am not going to throw out figures but my wife makes more than enough money to support our family. As I mentioned previously, if I was working most of my income would be thrown towards childcare, especially now with having 4 children. So no matter what decision we, as a family, had made my income would not benefit us above and beyond childcare.
Having one source of income is quite an interesting ordeal though. There are certain emotional factors that do play a role when there is one source of income. In order to overcome such emotional triggers you need to re-evaluate the meaning of contribution to a family. A lot of people believe the “bread-winner” is the biggest and most important contributor to a family unit. It is definitely a huge factor, but there are other contributing factors most people overlook, especially now that society is continually waning from larger and traditional type families. Some of these contributing factors are maintenance, time, and development.
Maintenance. As a “significant other” we all aim to live up to the name… “significant”. In a marriage one needs to complement the other in not only emotional ways but in tactical ways, including duties. If both of you wanted to always do laundry and neither cared for dishes then there would be a conflict. So where am I going with this? Maintaining order within the house is crucial in both senses. Maintenance, or “complementing” what needs to be done whether or not you naturally enjoy the tasks is a strong contributing factor in a marriage and thriving household.
Time. Easy enough… one person cannot have the desired amount of time alloted to them to maintain a family if they are working ten hour shifts, six days a week. The other contributing factor within a family unit would be to make up for lost time of the working spouse. Some things would include: housework, shopping, book keeping, listening to your children, cooking, etc… So contributing your time is crucial in a family, and you know what they say, “Time is Money”…
Development. This is the hardest and most important contributing factor to a family unit. Yes you could contribute your time to your children and spouse, and maintain all those chores at home but without development you will plateau. In order to get the best of your family you need to continually work at making it better, and allow relationships to blossom and grow. As a contributor to a family spending “valuable time” with your children is important. The term valuable is where this stage comes in. You can spend all the time with your children at the park but have your cell phone stuck in your ear the entire time. This contributing factor allows you to put that cell phone away and become involved in the growth of your family. This stage prevents your marriage and family life from becoming stagnant. When a “bread-winner” contributes financially, they sometimes cannot be sufficient in all of the other contributing factors a family needs in order to thrive.
So to jump back to the original question, how has one source of income effected the household? I would have to say it has helped our family in that I am there to contribute all the other necessary components in order to “complement” my significant other. If I were working we would be putting all of our eggs in one basket. We would be gaining in only one contributing factor but neglecting the others.
Can you think of any other important factors that contribute to a family? Maybe I overlooked one.
Tags: dads, income, moms, Parenting, Stay at Home Dads, working-momRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Parenting, Stay at Home Dads
4 opinions for Has Having One Source of Income Effected Our Family?
duncanriley.com » b5media’s next hit: Inside Fatherhood
Oct 16, 2006 at 1:51 am
[…] We’ve got a few blogs in the works at the moment at b5media, and indeed I’ve been working with our Channel Editors on settting up quite a few new blogs in the last couple of weeks. I’ve said publically before that not every blog b5media does is essentially my cup of tea: indeed, it’s why I take advice from others as to what will work, but I’ve got to share one of our new sites. We’ve not publically announced it yet, but it is in the blogroll, and that’s Inside Fatherhood. OK, big disclaimer, the reason I like this blog so much is because I’ve been in Steve’s shoes. Indeed, aside from some token money made online since December last year, and a little bit of casual work around the place, I’ve been in Steve’s shoes: ie, she who must be obeyed has been the bread winner for my house for a long time, so when Steve writes about having one source of income, and being a stay at home dad I can totally relate, even if in my case the golden child goes to day care 4 days a week…but guess who does the most running around after him, and who will be taking him to school next year and picking him up? (clue, it’s not she who must be obeyed). Anyhow, check it out, it’s a voice that you don’t often see out there, but it’s one that has totally validity in my perspective anyways. […]
Shane
Oct 16, 2006 at 7:51 am
Yea I am with you. My fiance makes more then enough to pay the bills. Besides when I work more then half of my income goes to childcare, about $1000.00 per month, so it made no sense for me to keep working. She was the bread winner anyway and I can replace that $1000.00/month online. Besides the ability to be more involved at the school with my child and the freedom of not having a boss is awesome.
steve
Oct 16, 2006 at 8:56 am
Shane I still have a boss and that would be my wife. :D
But I like the idea of potentially getting more involved in my childrens lives. I don’t want to be one of those dads who never make it to the games, doesn’t know what is going on down at the school, who their friends are etc…
Thanks Shane for the comment, it is nice to know there are others who know the feeling.
Shane
Oct 16, 2006 at 3:23 pm
No prob Steve. My kids have a double whammy, their mom and I got divorced about 2 and half years ago. I got full custody of them. But now she does not want to be a parent at all anymore. So its up to me and my fiance to make my sons lives a little better. Which makes all the better that I am able to stay home and show them the love that they deserve.
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